Occasional blogging, mostly of the long-form variety.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Fish Slaps for Peace and Sanity

I'm generally opposed to violence, but comedic violence is another matter. Given the vileness of the right-wing these days (ongoing if not escalating), even a peace-inclined DFH might find him or herself feeling filled with anger. But how best to respond?

Writing a scathing blog post can help, as did the many fine posts (linked above) taking on the sliming of Graeme Frost. However, I often think of this exchange at a party in Woody Allen's film Manhattan (Allen plays Davis):

Isaac Davis: Has anybody read that Nazis are gonna march in New Jersey? Y'know, I read this in the newspaper. We should go down there, get some guys together, y'know, get some bricks and baseball bats and really explain things to them.

Party Guest: There is this devastating satirical piece on that on the Op Ed page of the Times, it is devastating.

Isaac Davis: Well, a satirical piece in the Times is one thing, but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to the point.

I can relate. (Sorry, no clip — I'm hoping that by next year I'll be set up to make my own.)

Jonathan Schwarz suggests:

My position is that all heads of state of all countries at all times should, when appearing in public, be showered with rotting garbage. This garbage should consist of at least 5% rancid mayonnaise by volume.

It's not that there are no worthwhile heads of state. At any time Planet Earth may enjoy as many as two of them. But the worthwhile ones will appreciate the garbage-pelting policy and not be deterred, while the non-worthwhile ones may decide to move into a less destructive career, such as serial killer.

Some propositions are issue-specific. The Smirking Chimp, among many others, has suggested that folks such as Rudy Giuliani, who insist that water-boarding isn't torture, undergo it themselves.

Still, the best route probably remains satire, mockery and relentless ridicule. It's not limited to Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and clown posses. Many a liberal blog can and does mock the right-wing, but most of us can always use a few new tools.

As with so many of life's problems, solutions arrive via... Monty Python. There are so very many people deserving of a smack from a knight with a chicken:

It can even scale. Why not rate different pieces of hackery? The average National Review post, for example, might warrant three chicken smacks out of a possible ten:

I'm also a big fan of fish slapping, well suited for Bill Kristol and Jonah Goldberg:

Extra points if the fish is rancid.

(Cross-posted at The Blue Herald)


navyswan said...

"the non-worthwhile ones may decide to move into a less destructive career, such as serial killer."

Best line ever.

Anonymous said...

Batocchio -

Only three slaps for a National Review article? What about K-Lo articles? I think you are grading on a curve.



Batocchio said...

Tengrain, you're right. Grading on a curve, and too generous. The average National Review article is probably at least a 5, K-Lo, Derbyshire and Goldberg are typically about an 8, and their classics go all the way up to 11, and then some.