Our Complete Failure is A Sure Sign of Our Success

Orwell would laugh his ass off. Proving yet again that the chief qualification for being a member of the chattering class is merely to chatter, however vacuously, I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, Terry Jeffrey, the Editor of Human Events magazine, and paid CNN commentator. (He - is - paid!!!!!) Apparently, the severe rioting, killing and vandalism in Iraq set off by the mosque bombing is a sign that the Bush strategy... wait for it... is working. A hat-tip to Atrios for linking the video hosted by Think Progress.

I know Mr. Jeffrey is a conservative, but based on this one clip he seems to be of the hardcore apologist camp versus the, err, sane. Regardless of the context or explanation one gives for his comments, it is the runaway winner for Stupidest Thing Said Publicly so far this year. (Scratch that... the winner to date may be Alberto Gonzales' claim that George Washington and Lincoln authorized electronic surveillance. But Gonzales knew he was bullshitting, and I'm not yet sure about this guy. At best he's deluded.)

"If we can get past this crisis, maybe we can form a government that does bring stability to Iraq," he also says. Okay. That's a nice hope we all share. But that's if and maybe. That's a bit like being asked to assess the coming NFL season and saying, "If the 49ers win the Super Bowl, they'll be World Champions." Whatever happened to assessing the actual situation versus the one in Candyland?!?

Dear Mr. Jeffrey: You are not a member of the Bush administration. (Not officially, anyway.) You are not obligated to make shameless statements about the Iraq insurgency being in its "last throes" and defend that statement not only a month later, but yet again eight months later! You are not obligated, as Bush and McClellan both seem to be, to respond to every upsurge in violence by saying, effectively, 'the bad guys are scared because we've got them on the ropes!' Uh, just as we have for the past three years... Dear Mr. Jeffrey: you have no obligation to be stupid. In fact, since you're being paid to appear on television, our simple and reasonable expectation as viewers is you'd offer some sort of, y'know, insight. Did this idea really sound good to you when you sketched it out before appearing on the program? Or did your, um, "powers" of extemporaneous spinning just fail you spectacularly?

I'm interested in finding a transcript or a fuller clip, mainly to see if Wolf Blitzer or his other guest offered Jeffrey some Prozac. I know I wanted to reach through my computer screen and shake him - "Stop! Do you realize what you're saying?!? For the love of God, man, why? WHY?" Yet again, I lament - why are people of this caliber allowed on television? As long as you financially reward stupid people, you will have stupid commentary! Just say no, CNN! Please, no more Bush apologists, no more asinine contrarian wannabes, no more "analysts" so addled that black is white, ignorance is strength, and disaster is a victory.

(Okay. Rant over.)