Talk Like a Pirate Day 2015

As is traditional for Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'll be using a English-to-Pirate translator on a scalliwag. This year, it's Sarah Palin and her latest childish, taunting word salad. The original can be heard or read here. (Rachel Maddow played it and said, "Tell me what it means.") Rendered into pirate, it's:

So up thar in Alaska, across t' way Russia. You know thar be a name for this takin' advantage o' America. There be a Russian name for that. And it be called 'fortushka.' And that means Obama's window o' opportunity. So as Obama leads from behind t' skirt o' his starboard-hand man, Valerie Jarrett, then it's up t' Congress t' close that window. He may propose. You dispose, Congress. You gotta be in it t' win it because we want peace. With unapologetic mighty red, white, and blue, will have peace.

That might actually be more coherent.