Our Nation's Wonderful Political Discourse in a Nutshell (Or, False Equivalency Theater)

(Cross-posted at The Blue Herald)

Lights up on the studio of a typical political talk show.

Rightwinger: I think we should kill all the fags.

Polite Democrat: Um, I disagree.

Rightwinger: You're a fag, aren't you? Or a fag-lover?

Polite Democrat: No, I – I am not a homosexual, but everyone has a right to live their life in the manner they choose…

Rightwinger: And everyone has a right to believe what they want, right?

Polite Democrat: Yes…

Rightwinger: Well, I believe we should kill all the fags!

Polite Democrat: I really don't think…

Moderator: Surely there's some middle ground here.

Polite Democrat: I suppose.

Rightwinger: No.

Moderator: Why don't we agree to just kill half the fags?

Rightwinger: No, all of them.

Polite Democrat: Everyone has a right…

Moderator: (to Rightwinger) How about three quarters? (to Polite Democrat) Three quarters? Come on, whaddaya say?

Polite Democrat: The Constitution…

Rightwinger: No, every single one of those faggots has to die.

Moderator: Well, how about a different compromise? Instead of killing half, or all of them —

Rightwinger: All.

Moderator: Why don't you just beat them all half to death?


The Polite Democrat sits befuddled as the Righwinger ponders this, then starts chatting it over with the Moderator as the show goes to commercial.

(This tasteless, unsubtle satire was brought to you by the same folks who brought you Color Commentary. More on false equivalency to come!)